I want to leave, but finances and young children make it complicated.
After 10 years of being with my wife, including eight years of marriage, I accidentally discovered she was having affairs online. She put me through weeks of lies, denial, minimizing and obfuscating before finally giving me full disclosure. At this point, I’ll never know if I can believe her after her seven years of off-and-on cheating with one main partner and two others. Even if I were to believe she’s remorseful and has changed, it’s hard to live with what’s already happened.
Also, my wife will cry, get dramatic and make me feel bad, telling me she will just go to a homeless shelter. I don’t know if she’s purposely trying to make me feel guilty or what. Please help.Of COURSE your wife is trying to make you feel guilty! The best defense is a strong offense. She didn’t lie to you once -- your entire marriage has been a continuous lie.
I have been independent from my family for 25 years. I have always lived a few hours’ drive from them. For every occasion over those 25 years, I have always visited them -- spending time, money on gas, putting thousands of miles on my car and sometimes taking time off from work. Never has anyone visited me, other than once when my sister was passing through and wanted to have lunch.
I’m not confrontational. I love my family, but I feel some boundaries need to be established. Am I unreasonable? If not, do you have any suggestions?If it is not practical to continue traveling to visit your relatives, stop doing it. Do not stop inviting them to visit you, however, and when you do, tell them you know they would be more comfortable staying in a nearby hotel or motel, which is what your roommate’s family has been doing for years.
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