International Spank Out Day on Apr 30 aims to bring global attention to ending the physical punishment of children, as well as promote positive parenting. Singapore Children’s Society CEO Ang Boon Min discusses how this means leaving behind our deeply rooted beliefs about physical discipline.
demands copious amounts of caffeine, time and energy. Besides having to tackle an incessant list of to-dos, parents are faced with a deluge of information on how to raise and discipline our children. There’s no lack of well-meaning advice from friends, cautionary anecdotes from grandparents and relatives, and snappy parenting reels on social media.
It takes intention and effort to choose to parent differently. Besides having to reconcile with the hurt from our upbringing, we also need to leave behind deeply rooted personal and societal beliefs about physical discipline.You’ve heard the term “I grew up being caned and I turned out fine”. Instead, most of the parents reported feeling very angry or frustrated in the moment and physical discipline was typically used on impulse, as shown in the case of this parent:
Another often heard phrase is: “When I speak to my child nicely, he doesn’t listen. Only when I threaten to use the cane, then he’ll pay attention to what I say.” There are other means to help children learn, such as through setting natural or logical consequences. Both of which aid children in understanding how to problem solve for the future.Commentary: Want your children to be resilient? Don’t shield them from the messiness of everyday lifeOur parents parented under different circumstances, and they did their best with the kind of knowledge they had in the past.
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