Commentary: How can we expect children to be honest when we lie to them?

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Commentary: How can we expect children to be honest when we lie to them?
ChildrenFamily And Relationships
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Children learn about honesty from their parents. Put simply, lying begets lying, says NTU’s Setoh Peipei.

“If you don’t behave, the police will catch you.” More than 80% of parents in Singapore admit to having lied to their children. “If you don’t behave, the police will catch you.” “The tooth fairy gave you that S$2.” “The fish isn’t dead, it’s just sleeping.

When children lie to their parents or are dishonest about experiences in their lives, it erodes their ability to communicate with mum and dad, reduces their trust in the relationship, and also alienates the parent.they may use similar lies to obtain compliance from those around them. This behaviour not only strains relationships but also generates internal turmoil, as they grapple with feelings of guilt and shame associated with lying.

A way to judge children’s level of understanding and readiness is by asking: “Well, what do you think?” This allows them to express their thoughts and feelings, guiding the conversation in a way that meets their developmental needs. Santa Claus, for instance, can be a symbol of generosity and kindness. The tooth fairy can teach children about the natural process of growing up.Parents are entrusted with the wonderful responsibility of introducing our children to the world and the world to our children, asThere is consensus among experts that authoritative parenting - one that is nurturing, responsive and supportive, yet with firm limits and boundaries - works best.

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