Cherry blossoms herald spring, but also a sweet sadness of loss

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Cherry blossoms herald spring, but also a sweet sadness of loss
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The riot of pink petals that annually heralds spring reminds me of losing my best friend, writes Alexandra Motut

First Person is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story to tell? See our guidelines atThe riot of pink petals that annually heralds spring reminds me of losing my best friend. In Vancouver, where I’m from and where I met her, the cherry blossoms come in April. In Toronto, where I live now, they burst out with relief a few weeks late in early May. Ashley died in April, 2006, at 22 years, just after blossom season.

She once met me for a coffee, the summer after I had been at university, exclaiming, or complaining, very loudly about still being a virgin, which was a little embarrassing as an opening salvo in a public place – even more so when a passing customer muttered “I’ll bet not for long!” But she was vivid, bubbling, undeterred. Another day, we threw coconuts out of her bedroom window to see if we could smash them.

After she became ill, I felt out of tune with her. She was cheery and optimistic; I felt gloomy and serious. Cancer seemed like a gloomy and serious business: She seemed pretty chipper for a cancer patient. Maybe I was trying to balance her out? When I held the hand of her priest in a prayer circle in her hospital room, I thought I was probably screwing it up.

I wonder what 35-year-old Ashley would be like: Would she still be bubbling irresistibly about her personal life in the Starbucks lineup? I think she would probably have children of her own now . She’d probably be hanging out with other moms in Stanley Park, still spending more time on others than on herself, reaching out to strangers.

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