These in-laws once begged their sibling not to marry the letter-writer. Now there’s a family trip being hinted at.
Although our relationship has improved over the years, I am unwilling to test the hard-earned ambivalence with an expensive, week-long tropical adventure. How do we politely decline knowing that we take less extravagant but similar trips with my family?My first thought is that hints are nothing until they form into an invitation. Enjoy the grace period where you don’t have to respond to anything.
Next thought: Is this an “I” question or a “we”? You use both: The “I” is unwilling, but the “we” are responding. The only way to deal with this and keep your soul, sanity and marriage in top condition is to work it all out with your spouse first. Once you’ve decided together — without coercion — how you want to handle this, then you present it to the in-laws as a unified response. Whatever it is. When, again, they make you answer them by actually inviting you on a vacation. Good luck.
This, of course, is assuming that you weren’t the only ones putting in work on the relationship and that you feel as if they are also invested in having it work. · I was an absolute glass bowl to my sister’s boyfriend, now-husband, when they started dating. I was a teenager and just finally getting to the point where my sister and I were having a good relationship when he snagged her, and I was jealous. Over the years, I’ve grown up and realized how stupid and mean I was.