'I gave him an ultimatum: Integrate me into your family life or I’m walking'
Illustration: Jeni Zhen In “Both Sides of a Breakup,” the Cut talks to exes about how they got together and why they split up. After meeting at an event, Grace, 44, and Rashid, 46, dated for about a year.
Grace: I was with my sister and he was with some clients, and we all ending up hanging out at some little table with our tiny burgers, with artisanal ketchup on our faces. I loved Rashid’s humor and wit — and I was really attracted to him. Rashid: I talked a lot on our date. I told her my life story. My ex-wife was sick, at the time. She struggled with addiction and mental illness and back when I met Grace, she was getting long-term care at a facility. We had been over for two years, and I’d been raising my daughter alone for those two years. It was a heavy thing to talk about and still plagues me today, since my ex-wife and I have our daughter — it’s an ongoing battle and an ongoing living hell, if I’m being honest.
Grace: Fast forward to about a year later! Because Rashid travels so much for work — he’s a talent agent — we would go weeks at a time without seeing each other but whenever he was in town, we had a lot of fun together. Great meals, a few really special weekend trips out East and upstate. I really enjoyed getting close to him. And I trusted him … he always called and texted when he was on the road.
Grace: Oh God, it was just so awkward. I was like begging to meet his daughter. On one hand, I knew it had to happen — and soon — for us to truly have a healthy relationship together. And on the other hand, I really understood his anxiety. I sympathized with his fears and his inner-conflicts. I really did! So it was like: do what’s best for me OR do what’s best for him . We talked about me meeting her so much by the end that it just became a point of contention.
Rashid: She was pushing me a little too hard. I just couldn’t figure everything out right then and there, so I told her that she should probably move on. This all happened at a coffee shop in Dumbo. The pressure got the best of me and I was quick to let her leave. I regretted it for a few days, but then I felt like it was probably the right thing to do.
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