On the 10th anniversary of the massacre in Newtown, Conn., four survivors of elementary school shootings, ages 52 to 10, talk about what it’s done to them
in the days, years and decades afterward, The Washington Post interviewed four survivors who endured shootings before any of them reached fifth grade.
She was just like a monster. She wasn’t a real person to me. She was just a demon. It was like you could see almost through her. She had this, just, blank stare. When I do hear about her coming up for parole, it kind of numbs me. It’s a sleepless night before, but I’m used to it. I know that that’s normal, and it’s the way it’s gonna be.
And then I move forward to, you know, basically, “You have the audacity to want to be released? You killed two people. And then you think you deserve a second chance? Why?” There is no remorse. I want my community to be safe. I want my kids to be safe. So I’m going to do what I can to keep somebody that did this, that started all these school shootings, in a place that I know she can’t hurt innocent people. And hopefully my speech is persuasive enough to keep her in there.Hill, 40, was in first grade in 1988 when a 19-year-old walked into her school in Greenwood, S.C., and opened fire. Two 8-year-old girls were killed, and several other children and adults were wounded.
I had never been told that before. I cannot describe the feeling you get whenever somebody tells you that, when you think you’re the only person who suffers from something.I looked on social media to try and find my first-grade teacher. Once I reached out to her, there was another classmate that I was friends with. She was glad I reached out to her. I asked them what they thought about starting a support group on social media, and they thought it was a great idea.
The day that we returned, the teachers talked to students. I remember sitting on the floor in a circle. We talked about our feelings. No one really remembers them bringing in counselors. I thought about it, not like obsessively thought about it, but it was there. And whenever there was a shooting, I would be extremely upset.
Most of us have admitted that if we’re in a restaurant or a meeting somewhere that we’re going to be sitting somewhere that we’re facing the door. We kind of talked in the group about who had gotten counseling. I started searching on the internet: “free resources for mass shooting victims.”Within the next month, we already had our first session scheduled. It was virtual, which was huge, because there’s people who don’t live in Greenwood anymore.
I remember having a very long and drawn-out conversation with my friends in our social lounge super late at night, because one of them had kind of just out of the blue asked me, “You’re from Sandy Hook, right?” I kind of went into detail about it. And they were all just sitting there looking at me, like, shocked, you know, just eyes wide open like, “Wow.” That was the common reaction.
In the age of such extreme polarization, not just when it comes to politics in general, but particularly with gun violence, there needs to be a degree of tact in the sense that this person is opening themselves up to you, regardless of what side you’re on, and telling you about something in their life that greatly impacted them.
One of the teachers got shot, but she was still alive. She was losing blood and air. I heard her crying that she’s gonna die. She kept saying it over and over.[The gunman] was playing sad music. He was watching the news — that they found out that he was in the school. So he was just staying near the door. So when he heard the cops, he will start shooting at them.
I lost some of my closest friends. All my best friends. It was Uziyah Garcia and Xavier Lopez and Jose Flores and Jayce Luevanos and Rojelio Torres.
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