'Once you decide you want to play the game, you can't back out.' Some of Silicon Valley's most powerful men are regulars at drug-fueled, sex-laced parties—gatherings they think of as freewheeling and bold. But for women, it's a minefield. VFArchive
Some of the most powerful men in Silicon Valley are regulars at exclusive, drug-fueled, sex-laced parties—gatherings they describe not as scandalous, or even secret, but as a bold, unconventional lifestyle choice. Yet, while the guys get laid, the women get screwed. In an adaptation from her new book, bout once a month, on a Friday or Saturday night, the Silicon Valley Technorati gather for a drug-heavy, sex-heavy party.
To be clear, there is a wide range of parties for experimental sexual behavior. Some, devoted entirely to sex, may be drug-and alcohol-free and demand a balanced gender ratio. Others are very heavy on drugs and women and usually end in group"cuddle puddles," a gateway to ever-so-slightly more discreet sexual encounters.
MDMA is a powerful and long-lasting drug whose one-two punch of euphoria and manic energy can keep you rolling for three or four hours. As dopamine fires, connections spark around the room, and normal inhibitions drop away. People start cuddling and making out. These aren't group orgies, per se, but guests will break out into twosomes or threesomes or more. They may disappear into one of the venue's many rooms, or they may simply get down in the open.
Nervous, she dipped her finger into the powder and put it in her mouth. Soon, her guard dropped. Then, the male founder asked if he could kiss her."It was so weird," she says."I'm like, 'Your wife is right there; is she O.K. with this?'"The founder's wife acknowledged that, yes, she was O.K. with it.
Rich men expecting casual sexual access to women is anything but a new paradigm. But many of the A-listers in Silicon Valley have something unique in common: a lonely adolescence devoid of contact with the opposite sex. Married V.C. described his teenage life as years of playing computer games and not going on a date until he was 20 years old. Now, to his amazement, he finds himself in a circle of trusted and adventurous tech friends with the money and resources to explore their every desire.
However many founder hounders exist, the idea of these women lives large in the minds of Silicon Valley founders, who often trade stories about women they've dated. As Founder X puts it,"We'll say whether some girl is a fucking gold digger or not, so we know who to avoid." The claim of being stalked by women often becomes an excuse used by some tech stars to justify their own predatory behavior.
At least on the financial level, Founder X has a point. The payouts of A-list actors and the wolves of Wall Street just aren't that impressive among the Silicon Valley elite. Managing directors at top-tier investment banks may pocket a million a year and be worth tens of millions after a long career. Early employees at tech firms like Uber, Airbnb, and Snapchat can make many times that amount of money in a matter of years.
Jennifer Russell, who runs the established Camp Mystic at Burning Man, is more sympathetic."Men and women are equally drawn to creating a structure that invites their full sexual expression, and events like this are a safe place to dabble," she says."It's way better than a swingers' club would feel because this is at a home and you are surrounded by people you know."
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