Advice from R. Eric Thomas.
Published: 1 minute agoMany decades ago, my brother and his girlfriend had a baby. They split soon after the child’s birth and had no contact afterward. He asked me not to say anything about it to anyone, and to this day I have not. I’m the only person in my family to have had DNA testing, and an “immediate family” connection appeared: my brother’s child, now a successful adult living about an hour from him.
It troubles me that I might go to my grave with this information about my children’s cousin-they-never-had and it sometimes keeps me up at night. Should I just keep my mouth shut for my remaining years, hoping my children don’t do their own DNA testing after I’m gone with no way to learn who this relative is?Put down the cotton swab and step away from the DNA testing site.
As to your children’s questions, should they discover a relative through DNA testing, they may reach out on their own. If their cousin responds, he can fill in the gaps in the story just as well as you can, with the added perspective of what it was like for him to grow up a secret.My husband is not a cook and really has no connection to food other than he enjoys eating it. For the past couple of years, on Thanksgiving, he has volunteered to carve the turkey.
I realize Thanksgiving is many months away, but I’ve been stewing over how to approach the fact that his “help” is more of a hindrance.
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