Advice from R. Eric Thomas.
We are a retired couple in our late 60′s. In our younger days we enjoyed an active social life that often revolved around drinking, sometimes to excess. As we’ve grown older we’ve slowed down, improved our diet and taken up a near-daily fitness regimen that has us both in pretty good shape.
I don’t nag her about it. I’m all for everyone making their own choices in life, but I know the effects of this amount of regular drinking is not healthy. I used to buy the alcohol for both of us , and since I stopped she has purchased the wine on her own. Let’s put aside, for just a moment, the facts and figures around alcohol consumption. In your marriage right now, you and your wife aren’t aligned in a vision for how you want to live life together and individually.Your wife hasn’t made the same decision that you have about alcohol consumption and it bothers you because you care about her but also because it’s different from the choice you made. Perhaps it even makes you question your decision.
Your wife isn’t there. If you feel her alcohol consumption is having a negative impact on your relationship, say that. I’m sure you’ve already presented her with the data – thecategorizes four or more drinks per day, or eight per week, as “heavy drinking”. Show your concern and your love while also recognizing that this journey is new for both of you and it will take you different amounts of time to get to wherever you’re both going.
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