Dear Amy: I’ve been married to my husband for 40 years.
I have been in counseling by myself, but I never seem to get much out of it.
What do other women do when married to an empty shell of a man who is unwilling to be a better partner?You know from your own experience that good parents create a sense of security, safety and well-being — so that their children can grow to be resilient, brave, and secure — even with their most challenging emotions. And love is the most challenging emotion of all.
I wonder if you and your husband are aware of any ways he does try to show love. Maybe it is through work, supporting the family, or pride in you. Some spouses in your situation cope by retreating into their own shell, co-existing in an angry standoff. You’re not willing to do that, and I think it is quite brave of you to lean into your own needs, diving into a different future.I have enjoyed reading your column for years, and have mostly agreed with the advice you have given people.When attending a wake, the family of the deceased usually says, “thank you for coming” to the service as you go through the receiving line.
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