Where did you go wrong? Oh, let me count the ways, writes Amy Dickinson.
Dear Amy: My son graduated from high school recently and a few weeks later discovered, via social media, that his six best high school friends went on a graduation trip to Europe without him.AdvertisementHe reached out to a couple of them via text, and didn’t really get any explanation.I can’t help but wonder, where were the parents in all of this? Why didn’t any of them tell their kids that this is no way to treat a friend?He was devastated, and I feel like this is eating him up inside.
However, this is not a second-grader’s birthday party, where lessons about friendship and inclusion are conveyed through parents.Your job is to convey to your son how monumentally this stinks. You can add that, even though you want to drive around and TP their houses, you’re not going to do that. And then ask, “So how can I help you through this?”Emphasize that the mature way to handle this sort of choice is openly and honestly.
As the woman you damned with faint praise implied through her pointed response, you’ve made an assumption of what 60 is supposed to look like, and – quite simply – we 60-year-old crones have the right to reject your assumption. There is only one context where this comment might be received positively, and that would be on the day of this woman’s 90th birthday.Dear Amy: I agree with your assessment and response to “Not Laughing Anymore.”My patient wife put up with it for too long.
Once diagnosed with anxiety and alcoholism and treated with a low-dose medication and some therapy, I am now no longer on the alcohol misuse spectrum and no longer feel compelled to be the “funny, sarcastic guy” at my wife’s expense.That was 12 years ago, and I’m now happily married for 41 years.Dear Recovered: Thank you so much for this revealing admission – and congratulations on your recovery.
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