Dear Amy: My childhood friend of almost 50 years recently lost a child to suicide.
I have struggled most of my life with PTSD resulting from a sexual abuse trauma when I was 17.Sign up to receive daily headline news from the Calgary SUN, a division of Postmedia Network Inc.By clicking on the sign up button you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc. You may unsubscribe any time by clicking on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of our emails. Postmedia Network Inc.
I, however, am just now finding peace, due to finally receiving proper treatment. I procrastinated reaching out because of my own selfish fears of my own instability.Your shame has sent you into a self-punishing spiral. Now that you have processed your own behavior, you really should stop making this about you.
You should call your friend, even though it isn’t her birthday. Do not continue to apologize for or explain your reaction to her child’s death. Don’t make references to your own trauma. Simply tell her that she continues to be in your daily thoughts, and ask her how she is doing. And then listen to her with thoughtful compassion. If she doesn’t want to talk about her loss, then segue into other topics that you two have traditionally discussed.
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