Dear Amy: My wife and I have been together for 17 years.
As a therapist who has worked with addicts over the years, I think I find myself very hesitant to wear the “therapist hat” outside of working hours, but her drinking is very clearly problematic.From our newsroom to your inbox at noon, the latest headlines, stories, opinion and photos from the Toronto Sun.By clicking on the sign up button you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc.
I’ve tried too many times to talk about it. Lately when going out I want to keep to things like going to the movies where no alcohol is involved, but she has no interest anymore if there isn’t drinking involved.Article contentAny advice or help is greatly appreciated.As an experienced therapist, you should understand that you are powerless to control your wife’s drinking. And now, you should stop shielding her from the consequences of her drinking.
Love her tenderly, detach from your desire to control her drinking or its consequences, and acknowledge that alcoholism is a family disease and so you must treat yourself with some self-care. Illuminate your own choice: “I don’t want to live like this. Your drinking has overtaken our great relationship. I’m overwhelmed, and so I’m going to have to love you from a distance until something changes.”
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