Dear Amy: Every year, I spend time carefully curating a list of Christmas wishes for me, my husband, and our children.
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We open our gifts, and do not receive a single thing from our list. My children receive toys they don’t need and clothes I will not let them wear.It actually hurts that after 12 years of being part of this family, they still don’t know me at all. We spend a generous amount of money on our family at Christmas, but I’m disappointed and frustrated by their lack of consideration.
Last year, I told my husband that I would only buy gifts for the children of the family going forward; I have not told the in-laws yet.Advertisement 3Should I hold firm and kindly let the family know that children should be the focus of Christmas from here on out, or should I make overt hints to stick to the list and hope for the best, even if I’m disappointed ?Abandon the list. It’s not working. It also subverts the idea of Christmas giving.
You might segue to a non-material gift for adults – donating to a charity on their behalf or giving a subscription or membership to a local museum or cultural institution. If you don’t want to give any gifts to adults, in place of your list you can state: “I’m trying to cut way back on the overabundance, and so I’m going to only give gifts to the kids. Enjoying our time together is the only gift I want.
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