American Public Actually Kind Of Endearing In Some Ways

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American Public Actually Kind Of Endearing In Some Ways
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ALBUQUERQUE, NM—According to an extensive 18-month study published by researchers at the University of New Mexico this week, Americans, despite their embarrassing behavior, general ineptitude, and countless other negative traits, are actually kind of endearing in some ways.

"Our initial data showed that Americans are impulsive and tend toward willful ignorance—findings that are consistent with past research," said Professor Spencer Dixon, who led the study on U.S. culture and society. "But what we were surprised and, honestly, a little delighted to find is that Americans' short attention spans, simplemindedness, and inability to articulate a coherent idea can actually make them pretty lovable.

Although the study documented numerous cases of adult Americans throwing tantrums, wasting valuable resources, taking their clothing off at live music or sporting events, and littering, researchers said they have determined conclusively that these habits in fact actually add to the people's charm."They do this other thing in public sometimes where they'll keep shouting the same stuff over and over again for no reason whatsoever," Dixon said.

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