Concert by concert, the rocker and his legions of fans showed me how to heal.
I’m standing second row in the pit at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center, with Bruce Springsteen so unbelievably close I have to remind myself he is not a figure in a wax museum. That’s sweat on real flesh soaking the rock star’s shirt — Madame Tussauds couldn’t replicate that. AsIt’s my fourth show of the tour, and I expect to hit 17 before this year ends, from Sweden to San Francisco, Atlanta to Montreal.
Family has been tied to my Springsteen experiences, and not just because I grew up at the Jersey Shore. My first concert was in August 1985 at Giants Stadium in New Jersey. I was 17, and my 20-year-old brother drove, and then deigned to sit with me at the show. The band played “Jersey Girl,” and I slept that night in my sleeveless Born in the USA tour shirt.
My mother died a week later, at home, her family by her side. The hustle of funeral planning started immediately. The parade of people at the wake, the soprano’s voice echoing in the church, the uneven soil at the cemetery as we held each other up to navigate the ground, our grief. At the repast, my cousin said, “Just wait until your mom comes to you in your dreams.” I waited and waited, but she never came.
I choked up when he said it. The anticipation of the concert had sustained me through my toughest goodbye yet. Now, here was Springsteen teaching me about death, thanks to a carefully curated set list. Springsteen shows became a vehicle for processing my grief, as I funneled cash into more concert tickets instead of therapy. I had tried an online grief support group, mourners sharing their pain inside Zoom gallery boxes.
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