Advice | Carolyn Hax: I’m not sure where the line is between being my authentic self and oversharing — with my parents specifically. For example, I won’t bring up any wild nights of partying to them, but do I talk to them about mental health struggles?
I grew up queer in a pretty restrictive household and community at large, so I had to hide portions of myself throughout my youth. In my 20s, I’ve moved away, grown a lot, as have my parents, and I came out to them recently. They were incredible, very loving and supportive, and it feels wonderful to just be my authentic self finally.Now, however, I’m not sure where the line is between being my authentic self and oversharing — with my parents specifically but also the wider world.
It was unfortunate, but not unusual. Children with, for example, rigid, abusive or addicted parents, or a family member with preoccupying health problems, to name a few, also can grow up sensing unguarded self-expression is unsafe or unwelcome. First, gauge your audience. Do they relish people in all their dirt and hardships and doubts? Or do they prefer to keep some illusions intact? No judgments; both are valid. But understanding people’s tolerances will help you sort truth from TMI.fully? Yet? Or are they still adjusting to new information?may welcome your wildest tales, but if you don’t want to share them, then so be it.
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