Advice | Carolyn Hax: I'm 28 years old and single. I'm in no hurry to get married, but tired of being the odd man out with friends. How do I keep my independence while pursuing a relationship? Do I just need to face that growing up means making sacrifices?
On the one hand, I love my life because I can do whatever I please: spontaneous trips, happy hours, outings, going to see my family, etc.
I dread having to give up ANY freedom to do what I want, when I want. I am smart enough to realize a good relationship is not built on this selfish principle, but given that I've been living like this for so long , I find it hard to see myself being happy if I have to give up a lot of independence for someone else.
Instead of fighting your reluctance to change, use it. Let it alert you to the difference between trading up for a life partnership, or trading down. Any sense that you’re trading down to be with someone means you haven’t found the right someone.My boyfriend and I come from very different backgrounds. His parents are not very supportive, including begrudging him the money for college. He has taken out loans but has to beg them for even gas money to drive home.
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