Advice | Carolyn Hax: Grandma-to-be posts baby news without the parents’ okay

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Grandma-to-be posts baby news without the parents’ okay
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Thrilled grandma-to-be posted a baby announcement before her son and his wife did, and they were not pleased.

We’ve been through some ups and downs with this couple. We’ve taken them on trips and hosted them and their friends all through high school and the years after. When they got married, they lived with us for nine months with their large dog so they could save for a house.

Within minutes, I received a text from my daughter-in-law to remove the post. I did so, but was very upset. I texted my son asking why I could not post and heard nothing until the next morning. I got the snottiest, most hateful text from my daughter-in-law stating the reason was that it was not my place to post, and why would I do this without asking, etc. I was so upset I took two Ambien to shut out the noise and get some sleep.I am no longer happy and excited.

So, have a seat for a moment. Let your fury at my unsympathetic answer give off the worst of its heat. Then think, really think, about the position you put the couple in with your announcement. Consider how worried they will probably be, rationally or otherwise, about the viability of this pregnancy because of their struggle to conceive — possibly right up to the moment your daughter-in-law gives birth.

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