Advice | Ask Amy: Husband’s mean-spirited jokes aren’t funny to this letter-writer.
Examples of his humor are: He will pretend he’s limping, dragging his foot behind him and groaning. Honestly, at this point, I don’t think it’s funny.
Another example started during a time when we were playing a trivia game with friends. I blanked on the name of one of my favorite actresses. and ever since, he has called me “Movie Buff, ” followed by a slur used to insult mentally challenged people.Those and other comments he makes about me feel like an attack on my values and personality, and they persist daily, to the point where our children mirror this behavior. Now they seem to feel it is appropriate to joke in the same manner.
He knows this bothers me and continues to poke fun regardless. How do I address this issue? And where does this behavior come from? True teasing fun, or deep-down insecurity?Nothing about these comments is creative, witty or even classifiable as humor. I can almost imagine how your husband impersonating you hobbling on your broken foot might have been sort of “cute” at one point, but that point has long passed. And using a slur directed at you or anyone else is nothing but lowbrow bullying.
Your husband will accuse you of being too sensitive and may weaponize this sensitivity for another round of his hilarity. If he doesn’t change the way he treats you on his own, you should pull him into marriage counseling. I hesitate suggesting that this behavior is a marriage-ender, but you should ask yourself whether you want to live with this level of arrogant disrespect long into the future.
This has affected my health mentally and physically, not to mention the financial hardship. I now realize she is only nice to me if I am giving her money. Is it okay to take a break from your own daughter temporarily or maybe forever if the situation seems hopeless?Yes, it is okay to take a break. This relationship is harming you, so you need to protect yourself by removing access. Your daughter might have a gambling or drug problem.
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