The national pastime is gambling. And Wordle. Baseball has depended on our loyalty for too long. They’ve abused our trust. Starting a runner on second base in extra innings. The Designated Hitter in the Senior Circuit. It’s all madness.
Fans enter Oracle Park for the first time since the 2019 season before the Giants 2021 home opener against the Colorado Rockies on April 9, 2021. I’d rather visit my dentist. I mean… this offseason made me sick. Billionaires fighting with millionaires. And I actually felt bad for the millionaires. The whole thing turned me off. In fact, I’ve pledged a vow of purity. I’ll only follow the NFL.
My before times had guys named Timmy and Buster and Matt. It hasn’t been the same since the last championship. Since Boch left. The team’s run by a bunch of eggheads who check a spreadsheet before calling the bullpen. Bochy and Flan, man. They just knew when to push the buttons. Analytics. … The only WHIP I wanna see is in a jockey’s hand.
Benard was an underrated hitter and fielder. And great for the clubhouse. Don’t you blaspheme Benard. Not in this bar. Well, he tore it up in Spring Training. Maybe Buster knew something before he left town. Maybe it’s time for the kid to lead us into the future.
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