You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks,"Some asshole has my pen."What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.I just bought these shoes from my drug dealer. Don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
Tap to play GIFWho is this Rorschach guy and why did he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two. The hard part is getting them into the lightbulb.A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home,"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, please be careful!" Herman said,"It's not just one car.
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