'Riverdale is a town born in blood…and it has bathed in it ever since.'
We begin with an extremely weird quote from Jugdead, the voice of our generation. Like, I'm pretty sure A) nobody thinks life is an Agatha Christie novel??? and B) life is absolutely not messier than one — unless you live in Riverdale, the murder capital of the world, I guess.2.
The show finally remembers that these four humans have been living in the same house this whole time!Betty gets a call from Yale saying, basically, that she gets to take her"dead" boyfriend's spot, which is ~exactly~ how college admissions works. I'm pretty sure Betty wasAlice is working on a documentary called, which is interesting because after approx. 18,000 murders in her small town and being married to a serial killer, THIS is the one she's documenting, but whatever.4.
Nana Rose is back, and we all need to start listening to Nana because she HAS SEEN SOME SHIT!!!! I also love that every sentence out of Nana Rose's mouth is some deranged statement about blood and fire and demons. I love her.Pop Tate is also interviewed for the documentary, and you get the feeling this guy just wanted to be jolly and serve up burgers and milkshakes like his family before him.Also…is that a wedding ring??? Who is Pop's spouse? GIVE ME THE WHOLE TATE FAMILY, PLEASE.
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