'Moms lie because our kids can't always handle the truth, and honestly, neither can we.'
I really don't want to share it with you, so stop eyeing it, okay?It's been in the garbage since you went to sleep that night., so please don't follow me.I can't stand seeing you in that Batman tee one more day in a row.Coffee is vital. Frappuccinos and cake pops are not, so I'm not going to be the one to introduce you to them .I have tried every other tactic to get you to behave, so now I'm just going to scare the sh*t out of you.
I don't want to be the bad guy, and I really just want you to put your seat belt on or stop attempting to stand on a restaurant table or run into the parking lot by yourself, so . . . police.I f*cking forgot to move it because you exhausted me yesterday.It's bedtime, not screen time, little people.
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